Terrible Love
by Cassy27
Summary: Slash - Mpreg - He felt Thor's lips crush his in an almost desperate need. Loki pulled his head back and pushed him away from. "No," he warned, "not tonight."
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything!**

**Warning: Delicate themes!**

**AN: With my other story finished, I decided to start something else. This is an entire new genre for me and it's my first attempt at Thor/Loki so please be nice. Any and all mistakes are my own. Let me know whether you want me to continue this or not :)**

**~ Terrible Love ~ **

**Chapter 1**

The party had lasted long enough for Loki. After having excused himself, he got up and left the large dinning hall. He cast Thor a long look, watching how he emptied another tankard of ale. It was his umpteenth one and with each tankard, his stories had gotten wilder and more ridiculous. No one seemed to notice, though, since they were all as drunk as Thor.

His mother Frigga had left the party about an hour ago and Loki was grateful for that. No mother should witness her son in such a mortifying condition. More laughter boomed from the the left side of the table as Thor mimicked a bear of some sorts and Loki merely shook his head. He had seen enough of this unpleasantry and refused to feel embarrassed in Thor's place.

So he made his way to his personal chambers and retired for the night. It had been pleasant - up to a certain point, but Loki had never been one for parties. Perhaps that was his most distinct difference with his brother. Their fighting style was nothing alike and where Thor surrounded himself with friends, Loki preferred solitude. Where Thor was Odin's favourite son, Loki was not.

As the youngest of the prince-ling brothers laid down his head on his pillow, he wondered what he did have in common with Thor. The same blood was the only thing that came to his mind and Loki huffed in annoyance. Surely that could not be the only thing? He turned to his side and pulled his covers over his head.

His door swung open and Loki tensed in his bed. He had not expected company, not after this hour and certainly not after seeing everyone so drunk. No one tended to care for Loki when they were drunk. However, Thor stood in the doorway, a gigantic grin covering his lips and Mjolnir firmly in his hand. Loki dreaded to think of how he would find the dinning hall in the morning.

Thor's grin only widened when speaking his name, "Loki."

"What are you doing here, Thor?" Loki asked, too tired to raise his voice or share the current state of his thoughts with his brother. He wanted Thor to leave him in peace, but that was the last thing on Thor's mind it seemed.

The thunderer strode forward, dropping Mjolnir along the way. It crashed to the ground and a heavy thud echoed of the walls. Loki rolled his eyes and pulled his knees up to his chest. "Thor, you're drunk."

"That I am," Thor said with surprising clarity and pride, "but I can still walk straight and enunciate my words."

"Congratulations," Loki mocked.

Thor allowed himself to fall onto Loki's bed before rolling over. His head was only inches away from his brother's and Thor giggled. He actually _giggled_ and Loki wanted to smack him for it. Where were his manners? Oh wait, those vanished along with the ale. Loki rubbed a hand over his face, suddenly feeling extremely tired. When he lowered his hand though, he felt Thor's lips crush his in an almost desperate need.

Loki pulled his head back and pushed Thor away from him. "No," he warned, "not tonight."

"What's the matter?" Thor asked, moving closer again as Loki had tried to distance himself from his brother, "Loki, you can tell me anything."

With narrow eyes, Loki gazed at Thor. He was trying to read the sincerity in Thor's words, but he only found them incredibly blue and bright. "Whatever I tell you now, you'll have forgotten in the morning. You're drunk, Thor, so please go to bed."

"I am in bed," Thor smirked, earning him an eye-roll, "come on, Loki, you never leave me hanging like this."

"You're a spoiled brat who always gets what he wants," Loki muttered.

"True," Thor admitted, again with too much pride, "and I want this-" he moved closer to Loki until he lay almost on top of him, "more than anything in the world tonight."

Loki could smell the alcohol in Thor's breath and it repulsed him. He had tried to reason with him, Loki thought, so what other choice did he have in the end? And like he had said before, Thor would not remember anything in the morning. Turning his head to face Thor, he smiled charmingly. His next few words were a spell, however, and within a second, Thor fell into a deep sleep.

With effort, Loki pushed Thor's heavy body away from him until he lay on the other half of the bed. He had a few hours of rest and Loki turned his back to Thor, still trying to find something they had in common, but nothing came to his mind. It was so that Loki fell asleep, feeling agitated and lonely.

Not that he would ever admit this to Thor.

-o-o-

When he opened his eyes the next morning, Loki found a snoring Thor laying at his side. It wasn't the first time he had woken to find his brother curled up besides him, but it was certainly the first time Loki considered it...painful. He had not slept well and his dreams had been filled with a Thor looking at him as if the very sight repulsed him.

It made Loki wonder why Thor had come at all last night. Had he simply wanted to have Loki that night or was there more to it? Thor had all the friends in the world where Loki had none and he felt suddenly completely and utterly alone. With a few swift words, he lifted the spell from Thor and waited until he would wake up.

The thunderer did so with a loud groan, instantly grabbing his head had as if it were to explode at any given moment.

"Good morning," Loki said, keeping his voice soft. There was sharpness, however, that he had not been able to conceal, but Thor was too hungover to notice.

Thor managed to open one eye before rolling to lay on his back. "What a party," he sighed, amusement in his voice, "we should do that more often."

"We really shouldn't."

"Have we-"

"No," Loki quickly said, not feeling in the mood to explain matters to Thor. The idiot was too dazed to understand them anyway. There was even the slightest possibility he was still a little drunk. Loki moved to sit on his knees and looked down at his brother. "You were drunk and I wasn't in the mood for such games."

"I see," Thor groaned before opening his second eye, "it certainly explains the headache."

"Why did you come to me?" Loki asked, cocking his head to his left while watching Thor's expression with utmost care. From this position, he would be able to read his every thought. "Why did you want to sleep with me when I know for a fact that Sif is all over you at any moment of the day."

"You should not speak like that," Thor warned.

Loki ignored him. "And you should answer my question."

"What does it matter?" Thor answered loudly, pushing himself into a sitting position. He came to the same eye level as Loki and he never strayed away from his green gaze. "We've been sleeping together since we were teenage boys."

"We were experimenting," Loki said, remembering their first time together. They had been curious to explore their body, to see what possibilities lay within their reach and how much they could enjoy themselves. "What we are doing now is something else entirely."

"Yeah," Thor said, "now we fuck."

Loki felt a sting within his chest. Was that all he was to Thor? A brother he could have sex with on a regular basis? Was he so beneath him that Thor assumed he could simply be used? Thor appeared to be reading his thoughts and he brought a hand towards Loki's who wanted to pull away from the contact, but Thor did not let go.

"I am sorry," Thor apologized sincerely, "I hurt you and I did not mean it. I don't know what it is we are doing, Loki, but it is wrong which makes it all the more exiting."

Loki scowled. "That's something I really wanted to hear, Thor."

"We're brothers," Thor said, swiftly moving out of the bed. He was still wearing his outfit from last night, only now the fabric of his clothes were wrinkled. He looked dishevelled and Loki was not used to seeing him like this. "If father," Thor continued, "were to find out what we have been doing during so many nights, he would disown us, even cast us out."

Loki could only agree to those words. They were lucky Heimdall was sworn to secrecy and could therefore not tell Odin. However, Odin finding out would not be the worst part. Seeing the disappointment, the hurt and disgust in mother's eyes would be.

"I know," he sighed, unable to look at Thor suddenly.

It was only when a strong hand made him look up again that Loki dared to look into Thor's blue eyes again. Thor's head leaned forward and he kissed Loki with passion he had not shown last night. "I sleep with you because I feel good around you," he whispered, "because I actually love you."

At those words, Loki's shield seemed to slip away from him and he pulled Thor back into his bed. They would regret their actions - they always did in the end - but that never prevented them from falling into this pattern again.

And they like it this way.

-o-o-

A few weeks later

-o-o-

Raising Mjolnir, Thor blocked a hit from Hogun's sword. He swirled to his left and rolled over the dusty ground. He grinned as Hogun grows irritated with every passing second. They have been fighting for an hour already, but where Hogun grew tired, Thor only grew more amused. He was born to fight like this and he enjoyed every moment he spent on the training grounds.

He threw Mjolnir towards his friend, knowing that Hogun can dodge it effortlessly, but Thor tries anyway. It is always like this. They dare each other to go to the end of their capabilities, they force each other to play their best game, but a winner never truly emerges. That is not the point , however, enjoying themselves is and they are both having an entertaining time.

Thor laughed when Hogun managed to land a blow on his shoulder. He turned to his left and caught the returning Mjolnir in one hand. Knocking Hogun away from him, Thor watched the warrior fall to the ground a short distance away. Only then did he notice his public has grown with one person.

Loki was looking at him, his green eyes wide and insecure. Thor was not used to seeing his brother like that, as if completely distressed, and Thor placed his hammer down. To his right, Hogun slowly managed to stand upright, but Thor paid him no more attention. Sif, Volstagg and Fandrall seem as surprised to see Loki standing behind them as they quickly step back. No one is used to seeing Loki on the training grounds and the warriors three - minus Hogun - and the lady Sif exchanged quick glances.

Ignoring their attitude, Thor walked towards his brother and frowned. "Loki, is something wrong?"

"I must speak with you," Loki said in a stiff, tight voice. His eyes darted towards the others present on the training grounds and Thor did not understand. Loki had never cared much for them, but now he looked like he wished them away completely. It was something Thor did not enjoy to see within those green eyes.

"I am training," Thor said, "can't it wait until this evening?"

"_No_," Loki said instantly, his eyes locking with Thor's, "Thor, please."

Thor offered his friends a quick, apologetic glance, but walked with his brother away from the training grounds. He had expected Loki to go back to their personal chambers, but Loki brought him somewhere else entirely. Thor watched how Loki kept his lips tightly shut and how his hands were balled into fists. He even looked pale today.

Arriving in the grand garden of their home, Thor frowned. He had a dozen questions burning in the back of his mind, but he decided to wait for Loki to explain himself. Loki gazed around, searching for any unwanted visitors, but there was no one around. This seemed to relief Loki and Thor had to bite his tongue to keep silent.

"Thor, I am scared," Loki blurted, a trembling hand running through his smooth black hair.

Thor stepped forward, placing a hand on Loki's hip. The sight of a terrified Loki terrified Thor in return and he dreaded the feeling. "Loki, what is wrong?"

Again, Loki searched his surroundings. "Thor," he said ever so softly, tears filling his eyes, "I'm pregnant."

Thor's hand dropped from Loki's hip. He had expected much, but not this. Never this. He knew Loki was special, in every single way, but he had never considered him to be able to conceive children. For the shortest moment, he cursed him and his magic, blaming it for this mess, but Thor quickly forced those thoughts away. Of course this was not Loki's fault.

"I..." He wasn't sure what he should say, but he knew he had to say something, anything to sooth Loki who stood trembling on his feet. "Oh my!"

A sob escaped Loki's lips and he quickly pressed hand over his mouth. He closed his eyes and turned away from Thor. The thunderer detested the movement and pulled Loki close, embracing him completely.

"I am sorry, Thor," Loki whispered, pressing his face in his chest, "I didn't want this."

"I know," Thor sighed, trying to understand what he had gotten himself into. There was only one thought currently taking hold over his mind. Loki is pregnant. Loki is pregnant. Loki is pregnant. Loki is pregnant!

_And it's mine._

"If anyone were to find out," Loki said, burying his head deeper into Thor's shoulder, "if father were to learn of this, then we're doomed."

Thor tightened his embrace. "Then we'll fix it," he offered, "somehow, we'll make this better again. This isn't the end, Loki-" he made Loki look into his eyes, "you're not alone in this."

Loki closed his eyes, more tears streaming down his face. "I know."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything!**

**Warning: Delicate themes!**

**AN: Thank you all so much for the reviews, alerts and faves! They made my day. Hopefully, this chapter will be enjoyed as well. Let me know what you think! Too much drama?**

**~ Terrible Love ~ **

**Chapter 2**

Next day, Thor found Loki standing near the window in his private bedchamber, wearing his usual green outfit, but Thor found him different somehow. He cleared his throat, announcing his presence. Loki merely turned his head so that he could look at Thor over his shoulder. Slowly, the thunderer approached him, but he halted at a safe distance. He didn't know why exactly, but he wanted to offer Loki space.

"How are you feeling?" he asked carefully.

Loki shrugged, returning his gaze to the window. "I am fine."

Thor took a step forward. And another one until he stood directly behind Loki. He hesitated to place a hand on his shoulder, not knowing whether Loki would appreciate it or not, but eventually he did so. "I want the truth, brother," he whispered.

A deep sigh come from Loki's lips, his eyes resting on his clasped hands before him. "I can not tell you," he explained with a hint of anger in his voice, "I don't want to burden you."

"Don't shut me out, Loki," Thor pressed his hand a little deeper into Loki's shoulder, "not now."

There was a long silence, but Thor did not move. He refused to leave Loki alone, only wanting to help him. He would be a horrible person if he left his brother to take of himself and he would certainly not deserve the throne. Who was he to lead his people into peaceful times if he was to abandon his brother?

"I feel awful." Loki finally broke the silence with a voice that was hardly his own. He sounded tired and strangely fragile. "I have never doubted myself this much before. I have never felt like everyone is staring at me, but I do now. There is life within me and it spreads through me like a fire, Thor. It's infecting me and it feels..._wonderful_."

Thor didn't interrupt his brother from speaking, but he placed his arms around Loki's waist and pulled him closer. The idea of Loki carrying his child did indeed feel pleasant. Thor was curious about the whole matter and silly questions roamed around in his head. What would the child look like? Would it be a boy or girl? Would it be healthy?

He'd never ask Loki those questions, though, since they were not appropriate and would only cause more pain. In stead, Thor buried his face in Loki's back, breathing in his scent. It was painful to be this close and yet know that Loki's mind was a thousand miles away.

"The life within me," Loki turned in Thor's embrace so that he could look into a pair of blue orbs, "it's exiting and it's new and completely dependent on me. I feel like I am betraying my child already just by thinking about it because I have no happy thoughts. I can only think of how I must get rid of it."

Thor bit down on his tongue as he tried to understand what Loki was telling him. All he felt was jealousy, however, for Loki got to experience the sensation of carrying their child and Thor felt left out. He moved a hand down Loki's chest and allowed it to rest upon his flat stomach.

"Do you love it?"

Loki nodded. "I do," he answered sadly, "because it's yours."

-o-o-

He was well aware that his mouth hung open and that he was staring at his mother. In return, she looked at him worriedly, but he could not come to care. "Where is he going?" he asked for the second time.

Frigga frowned, but answered immediately, "Midgard. Thor, what is wrong?"

Thor stood from his seat, abandoning an entire plate of food. He ignored the questions being fired at him, the confused stares trying to keep him from leaving the dinning hall. Instead, Thor strode through the halls of his home towards the bridge that would lead him to the observatory. In the distance, he spotted Loki riding a horse and Thor quickened his pace, using his hammer to fly across the bridge.

"Loki," he yelled, needing his brother's attention. Just before they reached Heimdall, Thor caught up with his brother and forced him to descend from the magnificent beast. Loki complied and straightened his back, his eyes looking scarily empty. Thor knew perfectly well where Loki was heading to, but he still asked him the question, "Where are you going?"

"Midgard," Loki answered flatly.

Heimdall could hear their every word, but the brothers did not care. Heimdall knew everything after all and so they ignored his presence. The guard was wise enough not mingle in the conversation.

"What for?" Thor clenched a hand around Mjolnir, expecting an answer he would not like.

"To collect books to add to my library," Loki said, raising one eyebrow in a defying manner, "at least that is what mother thinks."

Thor gritted his teeth, reminding himself that he had no right to be angry with Loki. "Why are you _really_ going?"

"To fix this," Loki snarled, "because what other choice do we have? No one here in Asgard can help us without father finding out. Midgard is our best option and you should support me in this."

"You said you loved it," Thor countered, realising how shocked he sounded, "you said you loved our child and now you're getting rid of it?"

The slap forced Thor's head aside. Loki was looking at him with large, hurt eyes, his chest heaving up and down as he sucked in ragged breaths. Thor instantly regretted his words. He shouldn't have said it, not in such a cruel way. Subtlety was not his strong suit, but Thor wanted answers. He needed an explanation.

"Do not think for one second that this is easy for me," Loki hissed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Thor asked, returning to look at his brother. His cheek burned painfully, but he ignored the pain. It was but a needle prick compared to what he was feeling in his heart. "Why were you just taking off, not even informing me?"

Loki shook his head, his lips parted, but no words escaped yet. He cast a quick glance towards Heimdall, but he quickly focused back on his brother once he knew Heimdall showed no interest in them. "I wanted to spare you this," he confided, all anger having disappeared from his gaze, "Thor, I want only what is best, but that does not make it right or easy."

"Let me come with you," Thor pleaded, "you don't have to do this alone."

"I do," Loki sighed, casting down his green gaze, "it will raise too many questions otherwise. You never accompany me to Midgard so why would you now?"

"It is none of their business-"

"Please, Thor," Loki smiled reassuringly before planting a quick kiss against his lips, "go home and get through the day. I'll be back before midnight."

Loki cast an easy spell, his featured suddenly transforming into those of a woman. Thor only stared at him and watched his brother disappeared into the observatory then. Heimdall silently followed the youngest prince – currently princess - and Thor had to fight every muscle in his body as not to go in there as well. His brother had asked this and he did not want to disappoint him. With agony in his eyes, he watched the bifrost build in strength and a powerful beam shot through space.

It carried Loki to Midgard.

And his child.

All had changed now.

-o-o-

For the rest of the day, Thor was best left alone. Every question was answered with a growl and weapon-practice was a disaster. For the warriors three that was. Thor had beat them all half to death by the time it was noon and not even then had his angry and distant demeanour changed.

It was Sif who carefully approached him late in the afternoon.

"Is everything..." she weighed her words carefully, "all right?"

Thor, who was currently walking back to his personal chambers, glared at her. How could she even ask such a ridiculous question. The entire race of Asgard knew by this point that there was something wrong!

"You should leave me be, Sif," he answered bluntly, "I am not pleasant company right now."

"I am your friend, Thor," she said, refusing to leave his side, "and I want to help if I can."

A heavy sigh came from deep within Thor's chest. He knew he shouldn't take out his anger on his friends, but he couldn't help it. He was pissed at the world and wanted to tear it apart with his bear hands. He forced himself to calm down, however.

"Thank you," he said surprisingly soft, knowing that Sif had honourable intentions, "but there is nothing you can do. I only want silence so if you'll excuse me."

He quickened his pace and left Sif alone in the hall. When he reached his chambers, he made sure he locked the door behind him. There was one person in the nine realms Thor wanted to see, but Loki wouldn't return for another few hours. He could only wonder what his brother was currently doing it pained him that he was not there with him. It was for the best, however, Loki had said so himself.

It still felt awful to stand alone.

-o-o-

He watched how the bifrost powered down and Thor did not hesitate another second. The sky was black, completely covered with clouds. Not even the moon could peak through. Thor had lost track of time, but he assumed it was around midnight. He pulled on his thick, red cloak and made his way towards the observatory.

Loki had returned and Thor needed to see him instantly. The amount of activity surprised Thor as he watched servants scurry through the halls. Apparently, dinner had run late and most people were only just returning home. In the corner of his eye, he saw the warriors three and the lady Sif, but he ignored them.

They weren't going to let him get away that easily.

"Thor," Fandral called, hurrying towards his prince, "Thor, we have not seen you all day!"

Thor suppressed the urge to yell at his friends. They did not deserve it and it would only lead to unwanted questions. In stead, the thunderer looked at them and managed to conjure a weak smile to his face.

"I wasn't feeling too well," he lied smoothly, though not as smoothly as Loki would have managed.

"You do look pale," Volstagg agreed, examining Thor's face, "are you ill?"

"No," Thor answered quickly. He heard a familiar pattern of foot steps and Thor threw a quick glance over his shoulder to see his brother walking through the hall. Loki was faster than Thor gave him credit for, but he was still too far away for Thor to see his face properly. "A good night's rest is all I need. Excuse me, my friends."

He didn't allow anyone to say anything else and merely turned his back to them. He hurried towards Loki and noticed how exhausted he looked. At least he was a man again. All Thor wanted to do, was throw his arms around Loki's waist and pull him tightly to his chest. Of course he could do no such thing in public.

"Loki..." Thor extended a hand as to touch Loki's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Loki yelled, nearly shrieking.

Thor stumbled back, shocked by Loki's sudden outburst. He had never seen his brother like this and he could only watch him flee the hallway. The warriors three and the lady Sif regarded him with large eyes, but Thor only shrugged and made his way back to his personal chambers. Every fibre of his being screamed at him, wanting him to return to Loki, but Thor ignored that instinct. Loki obviously needed time and space and Thor would gladly give it to him.

After all, there was no telling what Loki had been through today.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything!**

**Warning: Delicate themes!**

**AN: Thanks to all that have left me a review! I am back from Rotterdam and I bring a gift in the form of a chapter :) I hope it will be enjoyed. Don't forget to leave me a message to tell me what you think about this chapter!**

**~ Terrible Love ~ **

**Chapter 3**

For the next week, Loki locked himself in his private chambers. No one was allowed to see him, not even the servants who were to bring him food. They were ordered to leave it before his door and leave. Loki liked it that way. He was too mortified to face anyone at the moment, let alone Thor.

His mother was next on that list. She would instantly read in his eyes that something horrible had happened and Loki would not be able to lie to her. He had lied enough times to his mother and he refused to lie about this. That is why he locked himself away; to avoid any questions or humiliation. What he had not expected, however, was Thor's stubbornness. Every morning, every noon and every night, Thor stood before his door. At first he asked entrance, softly and carefully. Then he grew agitated and began to demand it. He kicked the door, slammed his fists against it and eventually, on the seventh day, he begged to be let in.

Loki had been sitting on the edge of his bed, his hands laying in his lap and his eyes studying the floor. Thor's voice had been incredible sad and Loki had bitten down on his tongue until he could taste the blood in his mouth. He wanted to open the door and allow his brother entrance, but he knew what would happen then. He would crash, long and hard, and Loki refused to show such weakness.

But was it really weakness? Was he not allowed to mourn the loss of his child? Their child? Was he not allowed to show Thor how much he was hurting? Perhaps his touch would sooth him, if only a little. Slowly, still hearing Thor's pleas, he rose from the bed and made his way towards his door. He pressed his hands against the cool, wooden surface and listened.

"Loki?" Thor had apparently heard the movement within the chamber. "Please, Loki, I must see you."

Slowly, Loki reached for the knob and pulled open the door. It revealed a tired looking Thor who seemed to be dressed in the same clothes he had been wearing a week ago. His hair was messy and his eyes stood surprisingly small. Loki wondered if his brother had slept at all these passed few days. Probably not, just like he had not been able to close his eyes.

"Loki," Thor sighed before pulling Loki into a tight embrace.

Loki was startled at first, but then relaxed and buried his face into Thor's broad chest. Only now did he realise how much he had missed this, how much he needed this. Thor closed the door behind them, never taking his arms away from his brother and pulled him even closer. Loki closed his eyes, feeling tears sting. He had been fighting those for a long time, but he allowed them to run freely now.

"Loki, I am so sorry," Thor whispered.

They sat down on the edge of the bed, Loki feeling Thor's gaze focused upon him. "This is not your fault," he said quietly, "I made the decision and I must live with it."

Thor's eyes widened. "No," he said, "that's not true. Loki, I want to help you. You're not alone."

"There is nothing you can do to help me," Loki said, "it is simply a matter of time. I must learn to live with this, accept this." He gazed intently into Thor's piercing blue eyes. "Thor, I am sorry."

"Don't be."

"I killed your child."

"No," Thor took Loki's hands into his own and forced his brother to remain looking at him, "like you said before, we had no choice. I supported you and a decision was made. We stand by it."

"Oh God," Loki stammered, dropping his head and observing their intertwined hands, "it was awful, Thor, being inside that clinic. I felt awful."

Thor raised their hands and kissed the back of Loki's hands. "You are not an awful person," he assured him, "I love you still, I love you always."

Loki leaned forward, allowing his head to rest against Thor's shoulder. He could feel his body relax and his eyes slipped shut. He didn't know exactly what happened next, but he must have fallen asleep rather quickly for he woke in the morning, curled against Thor's side, their hands still locked together.

-o-o-

Having no need to spend time with people, Loki had found the perfect places to be alone. The garden was empty after nine in the evening so that was where one could find Loki at that time. During the afternoon, he was best looked for in the library and before noon, he was in his own personal chambers. Today was different, however, for Loki had learned his mother was looking for him. She was worried and wanted to talk and so Loki had quickly disappeared from his usual hangouts. Not sure where he could go, Loki decided that the vault was his best option. If he waited long enough, Frigga would stop her search for him and Loki would be able to go about his day in peace.

It was so that he found himself standing before the casket of Ancient Winters. He was unsure why, but he felt a strange pull towards it. It almost seemed to call him and Loki had reluctantly allowed himself to be mesmerized. He had been in the vault many times before in his life and he knew the story of the casket well. Odin himself had told him and Thor when they had only been children. Back then, it had appeared big and mighty, but now Loki found it particularly small.

And blue.

As if it were calling out his name, Loki stretched out his arms and picked it up. It was much heavier than he had anticipated, but he managed to hold it. It felt like a dead weight and it began to consume his body, starting with his fingers. Then his arms until it had worked its way up to his face like a fire roaring through his veins. Loki had never experienced anything like it before and he held his breath as he began to realise what this meant.

Slowly, very carefully, he allowed his gaze to travel across his own body. His skin had turned blue, the same blue that was trapped within the casket. It had to be magic, Loki thought, because what else could cause this?

"Stop!"

Odin's voice startled him, but Loki had enough self control to not drop the casket. In stead, he carefully placed it down and turned to face his father. He was still blue and Loki felt strangely cold. He welcomed the feeling, however, almost enjoying his current state. He should be panicking, he should feel frightened, but Loki only felt the burning of questions within him. He had seen other people around the casket, he had seen his father pick it up once and he had not turned blue.

Yet there Loki stood, regarding his father with large eyes that were without doubt red. "Am I cursed?"

"No," Odin simply answered.

"Then what am I?" A million images ran through his mind, but the one that mattered made Loki's heart skip a beat. He imagined himself with Thor, smiling and laughing. They were brother, were they not? Would Thor change colour once he picked up the casket?

"You're my son," Odin said.

The lie was too obvious. "What more than that?" Loki stepped forward, never leaving Odin's eyes as he gazed intently at them. Slowly, the pieces of the puzzle were falling into place and the picture horrified Loki. "The casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?"

Hesitantly, weighing down his every word, Odin began to speak, "In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the temple and I found a baby. Abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son."

Loki's throat had gone dry and he could barely breath. "Laufey's son," he repeated. He expected Odin to explain, but the Allfather remained quiet and Loki hated it. He needed more answers, he needed Odin to explain this to him. His mind was twisting and twirling and none of his thoughts made sense. "Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?"

Odin's response came quickly, "You were an innocent child."

Loki refused to believe him. "No, you took me for a purpose. What was it?"

Silence.

"_Tell__me_!"

More silence, but Loki would not break it.

"I thought we could unite our Kingdoms one day," Odin explained, "bring about an alliance, bring about permanent peace through you, but those plans no longer matter."

There was a pain within Loki's chest which he had never experienced before. Betrayal and hurt and Loki could not believe Odin could just stand there. Was this not affecting him? Could Odin not see how screwed up this all was? Loki couldn't begin to imagine how different his life could have been had he known...had Thor known... More dreadful thoughts came to him and Loki moved a hand to his stomach, reminding himself of what he had destroyed without reason. It was all Odin's fault.

"So I am no more than another stolen relic," Loki breathed, "locked up here until you might have use of me?"

Anger seeped through Odin's words. "Why do you twist my words?"

"You could have told me what I was from the beginning! Why didn't you?"

"You're my son," Odin repeated, sounding strangely tired, "I wanted only to protect you from the truth."

"What," Loki's confusion was consumed by anger and hatred, "because I'm a monster parents tell their children about at night?" Odin tried to speak, but Loki did not allow him. "You know, it all makes sense now, why you favoured Thor all these years. Because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a frost giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!"

Odin succumbed at that moment and Loki watched him fall to the stairs. He was breathing heavily, barely getting enough air, but to see the Allfather - his father - fall down so helplessly, it made him grow quiet. He stepped forward, watching Odin's laboured breathings and approached him with care. He wanted to tell him everything he had caused, everything Loki had been through because of him, but of course he kept quiet.

"Guards!" He yelled in stead and stepped back as two men entered the vaults. He watched how they hurried towards their King, but Loki could only stand there, numb and exhausted. He lowered his gaze and looked at his stomach. He had thought that he and Thor shared the same blood, that it was impossible for them to have a child together, but none of that was the case. He had murdered his child for no reason and Loki felt sick at the thought.

He swayed to his left and threw up, feeling his knees buckle beneath him. When he fell to the floor, retching, he closed his eyes and cursed Odin.

And he cursed himself.

-o-o-

Loki had to find Thor then. He ran through the halls, ignoring everyone he passed and called his name. Many had not seen Loki in days and they were all surprised to see their prince in such a hurry. Loki knew exactly where to find Thor this time of the day and he knew he would reach the dinning hall within seconds. Just before he turned into the last hallway, he came to a halt and inhaled deeply. Many others would be present and he didn't want them to question his current state of distress.

He was a master of lies, of trickery and so Loki had no trouble conjuring up the image of a controlled Loki. Sure, they would all look at him as he entered, but he would ignore them like he always did. It was so that he entered the dinning hall and instantly made his way towards Thor. His brother rose from his seat the moment he witnessed Loki's entrance. For a moment, Loki remained standing and then turned to leave the dinning hall again. He knew Thor would follow him and he was proven right as his brother grabbed his arm and made him turn around.

"Loki," Thor said, his eyes wide with worry.

"Father has fallen into the Odinsleep," he said almost absently, "I was with him."

Thor released Loki's arm, concern filling his eyes. "I must go to him."

This time, it was Loki who prevented Thor from turning away. "No," he said violently, "I have spoken with him, Thor, and I have learned so much. He has lied to us our entire lives. I am not your brother, I never was."

Thor frowned, Loki's words clearly unsettling him. "What are you speaking of?"

"I am not an Asgardian," Loki said slowly, the words hurting him as much as they would Thor, "I was born on Jotunheim. It's not my magic that allowed me to bare your child, it was because I am a Jotun."

Thor stepped back, his mouth opened as to say something, but he remained silent. Loki could read the confusion on Thor's face. There was even a hint of shock visible at the condemning truth.

"Do you understand, Thor? I am _not_ your brother."

"Father confessed this?"

"Yes," Loki all but snarled, "I have been living a lie and because of him, I made all the wrong choices. Thor, we could have kept our child and no one would have said anything about it if only Odin had the decency to tell us."

"But mother..." Thor began, yet unable to finish his sentence.

"She lied, too," Loki said softly, the entire realisation beginning to dawn on him, "our parents knew and kept it from us. Thor, we can not let this happen."

"And what do you propose we do?" Thor asked, eyeing Loki with care. "We can not confront mother, not now, not with father having fallen into his sleep. It would ruin her."

"Ruin her?" Loki exploded. "Thor, they ruined us. They played us and used us."

Thor shook his head. "No," he said, determination in his voice, "no, I refuse to believe that. They only did what was best."

Loki, suddenly horrified to see the resemblance Thor held to Odin, stumbled back. He could not stand to be close to Thor now. The very idea made him sick and Loki made a run for it. Thor tried to grab his arm, keep him from escaping, but Loki was too quick on his feet. He'd always had a talent for swiftness and so he darted around Thor's hand and ran. He did not know if Thor was following him and he did not look behind him to check. In stead, he ran towards his chambers and locked himself inside.

He needed to think about everything and he needed to plan. He would not forgive Odin for this, nor would he forgive Frigga. They had betrayed him and Loki would make them pay one way or another.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything!**

**Warning: Delicate themes!**

**AN: Everyone who reviewed, added this to their favorites or alerted, thanks! It's my birthday today so I thought that deserved an extra update :) Enjoy!**

**~ Terrible Love ~ **

**Chapter 4**

Slowly, Loki stepped through the barren, cold land of Jotumheim. He had been on this world before, but never had he known its true meaning. Today was the first time he walked this land while knowing he had been born here. It sent shivers down his back. The idea alone repulsed him, but he was here with a purpose and he didn't allow his mind to travel away from it. He needed to play this smart since it was well known that Laufey was not an idiot.

Perhaps Loki had inherited his natural ability to lie and deceit from him. He instantly redirected his thoughts. He would offer Laufey a deal and that was the only reason he was here. He made his way towards the centre, towards the throne where Laufey would be awaiting him because naturally the King of Jotumheim was already aware of his presence.

"Son of Odin," Laufey's voice echoed through the icy walls, his eyes slowly moving across Loki's body, "Kill him."

Other frost giants moved, but Loki only smiled wickedly, feeling exited as he knew a secret that Laufey did not. "And I have yet to propose a deal."

Laufey's eyes narrowed. "And why would I accept? Your reputation proceeds you, Odinson, I know about your famous trickery."

"You will not be able to reject my offer," Loki said, confidence filling his voice. He had forgotten his doubts, his insecurities. He was focused and determined. "I bring you the opportunity to kill the King of Asgard himself."

Laufey rose from his throne and growled menacingly. "To kill your own father?"

The words should feel like daggers to his heart, but Loki felt strangely empty. He did not enjoy talking about Odin's impending doom, but it also did not make him feel sad. "Yes," he said in a low voice, "do you accept?"

There was a short silence and Loki patiently waited for Laufey's response.

It finally came. "I do."

-o-o-

The burden of the throne fell to Thor as Odin had fallen into his Odinsleep. He did not mind, but found it a good trial run. Only now would he find whether he was ready to be king or not. The idea of all those responsibilities frightened him, but he had a family who supported him. His mother - who was refusing to leave Odin's side - had offered him advice already. He was to follow his heart and to judge as he saw just. He also had Loki. With Loki's intellect and Thor's strength, they were the perfect combination to lead the land. If only Thor knew where Loki was.

No one had seen his brother since this morning and Thor grew worried. At least more worried than he had been for the past few weeks. Loki's behaviour had grown more erratic, but Thor could not blame him. So much had happened to him and Thor felt completely useless. Nothing he would say made a difference. It was up to Loki to find peace with the new found truth.

The sun was setting on the horizon, casting everything in a dusty shadow. In a few minutes, all would be dark and Thor felt glad another day had gone by without incidents. If only he could find Loki.

He had searched the library, the garden and Loki's private chambers multiple times, but he could not find his brother. It was when he was about to return to the throne chamber that he heard a cry that made chills run down his back. He recognized that voice anywhere and Thor spun around on his heels. His mother needed him, but Thor could not imagine why. Something was gravely wrong and he hurried towards her. He knew exactly where to find her and only then did the realization dawn upon him.

She was with his father, the king of Asgard. They were under attack.

Mjolnir, which currently hung from his belt, flew to the palm of his hand and Thor stormed forward. He found the doors to Odin's personal chambers blown from their hinges and he couldn't understand why he had not heard this. Two guard already lay dead on the ground and Frigga's body appeared motionless as well. She lay in the far left corner, having been thrown against the wall. It send a surge of anger through Thor's veins who raised his hammer threateningly. Three frost giants were also present in the chamber, but Thor was not intimidated by their number. He had fought more of them before and he had never lost a fight before.

One of the frost giants was currently bend over Odin's sleeping form. He held a dagger of ice which sprung from his hand and Thor roared. He ran forward, Mjolnir raised high and he brought it down on the frost giant's skull. The giant fell back as a filthy cracking sound echoed through the room. The other two giants were better prepared, however, as they carried other weapons as well. The smallest of the two held a long, thin sword and pointed it towards the thunderer. He wore a defying grin on his face as he shifted the edge of his sword towards the limp body of Frigga.

Thor's gaze darkened. He would not allow anyone to threaten his parents like this and Thor stormed forward. He reached the giant in time and tossed his hammer. The giant ducked in time and burst into laughter. Thor could not understand until he suddenly realised and spun around on his heels. The second giant planted a dagger deep within Odin's chest and Thor could only watch with large eyes.

Power radiated from Thor's finger tips, fuelled by his anger. Mjolnir flew into his hand and he sent it flying towards the second giant. It knocked him away from Odin as it hit him right in the face. Thor didn't hesitate and focused on the last remaining frost giant. With one last movement, his made his hammer knock out the giant and Thor roared in triumph, though the victory lasted only seconds.

First, he rushed towards his father and made sure that he still lived. Odin's breathing was shallow, but his heartbeat was strong and regular. Thor moved on to his mother and found that she was merely unconscious. She would wake with a head ache, but she would have no lasting injuries. Gently, Thor shook her shoulders and wished for her to wake up.

"Mother?" He kept his voice low, not wanting to startle her. "Mother, wake up."

A groan escaped Frigga's lips and her eyes fluttered open ever so slightly. "Thor?"

"Yes," Thor smiled, happy to hear his mother's voice, "yes, it is me. Everything is all right."

Frigga suddenly bolted upwards, a hand clutching Thor's arm to seek support. Her eyes darted towards Odin and Thor instantly reassured her, "He will be all right. Father is strong."

Frigga managed a weak smile, but motioned to her son to help her anyway. Thor reluctantly helped her, but he wished for her to keep still. There was a dark bruise forming on the right side of her temple and he knew she could have a concussion. Frigga pressed on, however, and quickly reached Odin's bedside. She reached for his hand and pressed a kiss against his still lips.

"I shall find a healer," Thor said, "for both of you."

She inclined her head and so Thor left her alone with Odin. His mind raced, his body vibrant due to the adrenaline. How those frost giants had been able to penetrate their home was beyond Thor. They had not been able to leave Jotumheim before and so Thor knew they must have gotten help. The idea disturbed him since he could not understand why anyone would betray the kingdom or the king.

He stopped dead in his tracks. How he had not thought of it before startled him, but the solution was laying right in front of his nose. Loki would laugh at him if he knew this. Loki laughed with a lot of things lately, but never sincerely. His smile never reached his eyes any more which saddened Thor. He quickly found a healer and ordered him to go to his parents before making his way towards Loki's personal chambers. For some reason, he knew he would find his brother there now.

He wasn't sure what he expected, but it was not this. When he entered Loki's chambers, not even bothering to knock since he was beyond livid, he found Loki sitting on the edge of his bed, a book resting in his lap. The trickster was not reading, however, in stead his eyes were turned to the dark sky outside of his window.

"_Loki_," Thor breathed, forcing himself not to lose control.

Slowly, very calculated, Loki turned his head. He was smiling, grinning, but as usual, it did not reach his eyes. All Thor wanted to do was knock sense into him, grab him by his shoulders and demand for him to act proper again.

"How could you?" Thor accused him, striding further into the room. Anger forced his body to keep moving and so he began to pace while Loki simply sat there. "Loki, how could you?"

"If you are to accuse me of something, Thor," said Loki, his voice controlled and icy, "then please have the decency to tell me what you are accusing me of."

"Those frost giants," Thor explained, his voice harsh, "you led them here, you showed them a way in so they could kill father."

Loki cocked his head to his left. "So you say."

"Oh, please," Thor snapped, "you wanted father to pay and now he has."

Loki bared all his teeth as he smiled animalistic. "But they failed, did they not? Most frost giants are incompetent and I'm sure you killed them all. Nothing happened."

"For which we should be grateful," Thor finally came to a halt before Loki, looking down on him, "Loki, promise me you will not try anything like this again."

"And why not," Loki said with defiance, "who will stop me? You?"

Thor's fingers itched to move, to grab Loki and never let him go. "Listen to yourself," he said in stead, "I do not recognize you any more. You are all hatred and anger."

Loki forcefully rose from his seat, his face only inches away from Thor's. "Do I not have reason? Do you not understand?"

Thor closed his eyes. He tried with all his heart to place himself in Loki's place, but he simply couldn't imagine himself trying to hill his father. "Loki, this is madness."

Suddenly, all colour disappeared from Loki's eyes. The green twisted into a crimson and Loki's eyes widened. His paleness turned a deep blue and Thor stumbled back, startled by the new Loki standing before him.

"Is it madness," Loki's voice was too soft, too cold, "is it?"

Thor inhaled deeply. For everything that had changed, Loki's pain was still very much visible in his eyes. He looked incredibly lost and alone and for a moment, Thor could understand him. He understood his motives, his ideas and his thoughts, but he could still not agree with him. Not sure why he did it, Thor wrapped both his arms around Loki's thin body and embraced him. He could feel Loki tense, but he did not let go. He wasn't sure how many seconds passed, perhaps minutes, but eventually, he could feel Loki relax a little.

"Loki," Thor sighed, tightening his embrace, "you are not mad and you are not alone. You will never be alone as long as I am around." Loki's body began to tremble, but Thor still did not let go. "I love you, Loki, and I will never abandon you."

It took Thor a moment to realise that Loki's trembling body meant he was crying and Thor let him, not once loosening his grip. He only held him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything!**

**Warning: Delicate themes!**

**AN: Thanks to everyone that read this story. I'm glad it has been enjoyed. The last chapter is rather long and I hope that won't be a problem. Enjoy and don't forget to leave me a final message :)**

**~ Terrible Love ~ **

**Chapter 5**

Two weeks had passed since the frost giants had entered Asgard, but now everything was settling down once again. Odin had woken a few days ago, but Thor still performed his duties as regent of Asgard. The day of the attack, Frigga had found her two sons together in Loki's chamber. Loki had been fast asleep, still wearing his blue form while Thor had been holding him as if he was clinging to dear life. Frigga had only been able to offer her oldest son a weak smile and asked him to look after Loki. Thor had promised.

It was so that time had passed without other incidents and Thor was steadily accepting that the worst was over. It seemed Loki had come to peace with who he was, although the subject of Odin and frost giants was still a touchy one. So Thor kept to lighter subjects such as magic and training.

His friends had asked many times what was happening with Loki, but Thor only told them his brother needed personal time. They soon realised it was none of their business though Sif had reacted particularly intrigued. She had not stopped asking questions until Thor had forbidden her to bring up the subject of his brother. She had done so reluctantly, but Thor did not care. He knew she was merely concerned, but he wanted her to respect his wishes any how.

His brother was healing - as was his father - and Thor could not stop smiling. Things could have been much worse and knowing Loki, he could have plotted a much more elaborate plan. Luckily, the young trickster had acted with passion and not with his intellect.

It was so that everything grew peaceful. Odin would resume his task as king any moment now and Thor would return to being the stubborn, reckless prince. At least, that was what the people of Asgard assumed. In reality, Thor had grown much since Loki had first announced he was pregnant. He had seen much as well, hurt and anger, but mostly; betrayal. All that in Loki's eyes. He couldn't begin to imagine what the young trickster was going through, but at least he seemed to be handling it better now.

At least Loki dared to smile again.

-o-o-

He had dreaded this very moment for three weeks already, but it had to be done and Thor was well prepared. He hadn't slept well last night - his thoughts constantly with Loki - but Thor understood he needed to focus on his father for the moment. Convincing Odin would be a tricky job.

As he made his way into the throne room, he ordered the guards to leave them. Odin did not overrule him and Thor waited until they were alone. When Frigga entered, however, he felt grateful. She would surely choose his side. He waited until she had taken her position besides Odin before he began to speak.

"We all know why I am here. I've only ever been happy with Loki and I will defend him with my life."

Odin remained silent for a long moment, but Thor refused to break the silence. His gaze darted between his mother and father, but he appeared strong and confident. He could only hope Odin was prepared to see their side of the tale. He didn't know how Odin had reacted to the news of Thor and Loki being together, but at least he hadn't banned them from Asgard. _Yet_.

The thought send a chill down Thor's back.

"Loki betrayed the kingdom," Odin spoke surprisingly soft, but there lay a sharp tone in his words, "he betrayed his king. Treason is punishable by death, yet he remains my son. What he has done, however, what he has cost me-"

Thor knew he should have allowed Odin to speak, but he interrupted him none the less. "And what about you and what you have cost him? He gave the life of his child for you, the life of our child just so that you would not look upon us with shame."

"Your child?"

Thor hadn't even realized he'd said those words. He watched how the colour drained from Odin's face, how Frigga closed her eyes and sighed, but Thor decided to ignore it. They had the right to know the truth, no matter how much it hurt.

"And what was the point," he continued softly, thinking about how torn Loki had felt all that time, "if we'd known the truth, none of this would have happened. It's hard not to blame you for everything." Even though he was still talking to his father and king, Thor knew those words needed to be said.

"A king knows when he has been wrong," Odin explained, suddenly looking like a tired, old man, "and I admit that I have indeed made mistakes in my life. I could not have known the consequences, but I am prepared to deal with them. Are you?"

Thor frowned. He didn't know what his father was talking about.

"You can not sit upon the throne of Asgard, not with Loki as your queen. The people won't accept it."

He should have known really. "Then I refuse to be crowned king."

Frigga spoke for the first time then, and she sounded particularly sad. "And who shall take on the responsibilities then? Thor, think reasonably, think of the good of Asgard."

Odin nodded, agreeing with Frigga's words.

"Not you, too, mother," Thor sighed and he saw a flash of pain and guilt in Frigga's eyes.

"I am only trying to help," she said.

Thor turned to face her fully. "Would you do it? Would you leave father for the good of Asgard?" He hadn't meant for it to happen, but his words sounded mockingly. "And you, father," he turned to look at Odin, "would you leave mother?"

They both took a moment to think, but they shook their heads quickly. "No," Odin answered, looking directly into Frigga's kind eyes.

"Then why can't you understand me? Why can't you see that I love Loki and that he is the one I want by my side?"

"How far are you prepared to go for your love?" Frigga asked.

Thor smiled. "To the end of time itself."

Frigga returned her son's smile. "Then there might be a way."

-o-o-

Loki didn't know what he'd expected, but he certainly felt surprised when Thor was smiling as he entered the chamber. He knew his brother went to talk to Odin which was not something that was undertaken lightly. Yet, there he stood, _smiling_.

"What happened?" Loki asked, turning away from his window. He intertwined his fingers, a sign that he did not feel confident, but he wasn't afraid to be himself in front of Thor.

"I spoke with the Allfather," Thor began to explain, "there is hope." He stepped closer towards him, but never closed the complete distance between them. He seemed to hesitate about his next words. "Do you love me, Loki?"

The question surprised the trickster and he needed a moment to wrap his head around things. "Yes," he answered, his voice strong, "I do love you."

"You want to be with me?

Loki grew impatient. He wanted to know what the hell Thor was talking about. "Yes. Now what is going on?"

"We can be together," Thor explained, his smile suddenly disappearing. Loki prepared himself for bad news. "But as future king of Asgard, I have to uphold certain...traditions. I am to marry, Loki."

Loki nodded, sighing heavily. "You need a queen," he said, the words finally making sense, "Asgard needs a queen."

"I am sorry."

Loki took Thor's hands into his own and forced him to look into his green eyes. "I never wanted to be your queen," he watched a disappointed frown spread across Thor's face, "I just wanted to be yours."

Slowly and carefully, Thor closed the gap between them and pulled Loki closer. There was a brief pause before Thor kissed Loki. It appeared to last an eternity, but Loki finally managed to break away. This time, he smiled when he gazed into Thor's blue orbs. He'd missed these kind of moments and for a brief moment, they made him feel normal.

"It will be Sif then," he said, knowing that he was right, "who will be your official queen."

"If she agrees," Thor breathed. Loki scowled slightly, not enjoying that idea at all. "Yes, she will be my queen, but you, Loki, you are my everything." He kissed Loki again who reluctantly allowed it. The idea that he had to share Thor made him miserable, but he knew it was just a matter of time. He would learn to live with the situation.

If Loki thought about it, he realized he had everything he wanted. He could stay in Asgard and he could be with Thor. For the first time in weeks, he felt grateful and at peace.

-o-o-

Months later

-o-o-

It was late and Thor felt every muscle in his body ache. After having trained all day with the warriors three and having had a large feast to honour Frigga's birthday, Thor retreated himself from everyone's company. They all knew where he was heading to, but no one spoke of it. Not that they were ashamed or felt it to be dishonourable, but they simply had too much respect for Sif.

Thor entered Loki's chamber and found him sleeping in the large bed. Without making any noise, he slipped underneath the covers and placed an arm across Loki's hips. Since the trickster did not move, Thor assumed he was fast asleep, but he was quickly proven wrong.

"Shouldn't you be with your queen?" his sleepy voice asked.

Thor chuckled. "How long are you going to call her my queen?"

"As long as it annoys the both of you."

"So for a very long time then," Thor concluded, feeling Loki turned his head towards him. It was completely dark and Thor could not see anything, but he could feel every movement against his body. "And no," he continued to speak, "I'm sure Sif understands."

"She hates it," Loki murmured, "she hates I will give you a child before she can."

Thor nuzzled his face against Loki's shoulder. "It is not a competition," he said, "when will you both realize this?"

This time, it was Loki who chuckled. "For Sif, everything is a competition and she lost this one. Of course she feels agitated. Besides, she is the queen of Asgard and yet here you are, laying with me."

"With both of you," Thor smiled, moving a hand over Loki's round belly, "you and my son."

"Or daughter."

"It doesn't matter," Thor whispered.

"I know," Loki replied and then the room grew silent as they fell asleep, holding each other like they have done so for the past few months. Thor would not wake until late the next morning when he felt Loki stir in his arms. A groan escaped Loki's lips and Thor frowned.

"Loki?"

"Good morning," Loki said, sounding out of breath.

Thor removed his arm from Loki's waist and pushed himself into a sitting position. The sunlight peered through the curtains, telling Thor is was already late in the afternoon. He should have met Frigga for breakfast at eight, but he knew she would not be mad. He focused on Loki's trembling figure. "Loki, what is wrong?"

"It is time, Thor," Loki breathed, his hands resting on the lower part of his stomach, "the child is coming."

As if all air had been knocked from his lungs, Thor stumbled back and hurried from the bed. He leapt towards the other side where he had a better image of him. Gently, he brushed some of Loki's hair from his face. "What can I do?"

"Get me a healer," Loki orderer, lifting his gaze so he could meet Thor's, "it will not last much longer."

Thor immediately did as he was asked and ran from the room. He hated leaving Loki alone, but he had no choice. He knew exactly where to find a healer and so he hurried towards Odin's chambers. Healers tended to hang around where they might be needed most. Odin was in good health, but one still had to tend to his old stab wound which he had received from a frost giant months ago.

Entering his father's personal chambers without hesitation, he found Odin sitting on a chair with his chest bare. A healer was currently focused on the scar tissue, rubbing an oilment on it. Both men turned to look at the weary looking thunderer. "Your assistance is needed urgently," Thor announced, "Loki is in labour."

The healer turned to Odin who nodded his head, allowing him to leave and tend to Loki. Odin, however, rose from his seat and motioned to Thor to come closer. "It will be a long day, Thor," he explained, "it is best you grant Loki some space."

Thor frowned. "I should be with him."

"If that is what he wishes."

Thor didn't wait for any more wisdom of his father, but spun around and hurried from the king's personal chambers. He rushed through the halls and when he reached Loki's chambers, he found Frigga just about to enter. She, too, made him come to a halt. "Mother," Thor didn't understand, "let me pass."

"Not yet," Frigga said softly, "I will call when Loki calls you. Have patience, my boy." She entered Loki's chambers and closed the door behind her. Before she did, she offered him a compassionate smile.

Thor disliked the situation, but he decided that it was best to listen to his mother. She had been in Loki's situation before and so she knew what was best. Thor would wait patiently and pray that all would pass quickly. He began to pace the floor, straining to hear what was happening on the other side of the door, but all was quiet. Thor ignored the impulse to burst into the room. He should grant Loki the privacy he deserved.

It was then that the door opened and Thor instantly heard Loki's strained breathing. Frigga appeared and motioned for him to enter. Thor did not hesitate a second and found Loki laying above the covers of the bed, his face covered in a thin layer of sweat. Thor went to sit next to him and was pleasantly surprised to find that Loki reached for his hand.

"My Lord," the healer said respectfully, "now it is time."

Loki looked at Thor and smiled tiredly before he began to push. Thor held his breath, unsure what to expect. Loki exhaled slowly before he began to cry out in pain. Thor squeezed his hand and wished he could do something to relieve the pain. Suddenly, Loki's cry changed into laughter and Thor felt distraught. That was until he heard a second, tiny cry burst through the room. Everyone grew silent, except for Loki and the child. The healer quickly placed the baby in Loki's arms and Thor needed to remind himself that he was to breathe.

The child was small, its face red with anger and its little hands grasping thin air. Loki's arms tightened its embrace and he pressed a soft kiss against the child's head. The baby's cries died away as it already fell asleep and Thor smiled.

"Our daughter," Loki sighed happily, "Maud."

They had discussed the name of their child many times, but never before had the name 'Maud' brought so many intense emotions to Thor's heart. He hadn't believed it possible, but he already loved his daughter with all of his heart. He smiled when looking at Loki and he knew he was thinking the same.

"Maud," Thor repeated, "a perfect name for a perfect girl."

Leaning his head forward, Thor pressed his lips gently against Loki's. Their kiss lasted only seconds before they broke away to look at the baby in Loki's arms.

"I love you, Loki," Thor whispered into his ear.

"I love you, too," Loki smiled back.


End file.
